Days 74-80

After a couple days of not writing, I started feeling like catching up was too big of a project for the time I had at any given moment.  I just kept putting it off and not finding the time to do it.  Well, that only made it worse!  What can I say about the last seven days and the six classes I took?  Not a whole lot.  There were moments of giggling, super concentration, pain, sweat, exhaustion, accomplishment, day dreaming, camaraderie, and a zombie sleep deprived moment where I tried to do Tortoise Pose at the top of my mat with my legs in Fixed Firm Pose.  I'm still feeling like I've made big improvements in Half Moon Pose, and keep working on it every day.  I love the way it feels when I lift my ribcage up right at the end and drop down more.  The stretch is amazing, now if only I can figure out how to keep my knees locked at the same time.  I've been able to lock my knees out in Hands to Feet Pose a few times.  My right knee is still painful at times and my right quadriceps were really swollen and sore.  I think they probably have something to do with each other.  I had a massage on Saturday.  Two hours.  She worked on the area around my scapula, mostly trapezius, for 45 minutes.  She also concentrated on my quadriceps, IT band and TFL.  It was much needed but took a lot out of my body.  We worked through a ton of trigger points.  Then I had Korean food and had a gluten reaction.  I didn't make it to class on Saturday.  I've been choosing to stay up super late when I know I shouldn't be.  Now, I have a sinus infection and can't sleep through the night because of it.  I haven't had a good night's sleep since Thursday!  I've also been getting migraines, which are probably from a combination of messing up my sleep schedule, not getting enough sleep, needing an adjustment, this sinus infection, and possibly not drinking enough water.  I've been dealing with a bit of stress as well, which is why I think I'm not sleeping well.  But, I am changing that.  I have to go to class before work tomorrow and friday, so I have to have to have to go to bed at a decent hour.  If I can just get my sinuses to let me sleep more than 2 hours in a row, I will be golden.

Day 73

I again didn't make it to class in the morning before work. After work, I made potato leek soup (the recipe happens to be on my other blog) but I couldn't eat it until after class. My hands smelled like onion and leek during class. That's better than garlic. I had horrible cramps and didn't want to do anything. Laying on my stomach hurts and makes me want to throw up when I'm on my period. Add spine strengthening poses to the mix, and I'm miserable. On my first couple days of my period, tightening my abdominal muscles and rounding down both make the cramps worse. Between this and me knee I barely did anything. The teacher encouraged me to do the stomach down poses, but I skipped Locust Pose and Floor Bow. I was okay with taking it easy in class but I'm ready for my knee to figure out what it's doing and feel better already!

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Day 72

Monday was Karma Yoga Day. That means that BYA donates $1 for every body in every class to an orgnaization. This month it went to a relief fund for northern Japan. It was also a classmates 365th class in 365 days. She's had to do a lot of catching up in the last month and has been doing doubles and triples most days. She did 3 on Saturday, 4 on Sunday and five on Monday! Three other yoga buddies did 4 or 5 classes along with her on Monday. I had been planning on going to the 9:30 class but my body decided that sleep was more important. I made it to the last class instead and I'm glad I did! The energy was amazing and it felt good to cheer them along in my head. A teacher took some pictures of her in her final class. Since I was nearby I used the risk of being in the background as a motivator to watch my form and try not to fidget. I can't remember much about the class but I fel reasonably focused. I'm still being careful with my knee but the pain is less accute. I'm writing this post while stretching my quads, gluts and TFLs. I mean to stretch more often, but it just doesn't happen.

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Day 71

I didn't sweat nearly as much as I did yesterday, but it wasn't as awesome of a class. Stuff's going on in my back and I really need an adjustment. Between that and my knee, class was on the painful side. I did what I could with me knee still acting up. I'm just biding my time and taking it easy while it figures itself out. I had a really hard time concentrating because of a few stressful things that were making camp in my mind. I accepted that fact and did the best I could. I don't have high hopes for class tonight but you never know!

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Day 69 and Day 70

Day 69 - Pause

When I woke up at 8am, I knew there was no way I'd make it through the day if I went to yoga.  Changing my schedule, shitty sleep, and the time change caught up to me all at once.  I went back to bed.  I had plans for right after work, so I couldn't do the 6:30pm class instead.  I think it was the right decision.

Day 70

Class felt pretty good, even with my knee still mysteriously hurting.  I was able to do a little more and I did some poses part way, avoiding the parts that would hurt my knee.  Sometimes there is a sharp pain and sometimes it just feels irritated and sore.  It still hurts when I go down stairs or ride my bike.  I took the bus to class today.  I don't really like taking the bus.  I prefer to ride.  One of my classmates pushed me up in Full Locust Pose.  What that means, is that our arms overlapped and she just kept bringing her arms up even though mine was in the way.  I didn't expect it on the first set, so I felt it in my shoulder.  For the second set, I was prepared.  I felt stretching in the front of my chest and I felt my rhomboids and trapezius contract tighter between my scapula.  It was pretty intense.

Day 68

I am exhausted.  I had slightly better sleep last night, just not enough of it.  It was a gorgeous day and it made me really appreciate the fact that I ride my bike to BYA everyday.  Class was okay.  My knee is still being weird so I took it easy.  I forgot to do my laundry yesterday due to late onset yoga brain.  I had to scramble this morning to find the old shorts and sports bra that I used for my first few classes.  The shorts are now loose instead of tight.  The bra was roomy and felt like I was going to fall out the top when I leaned over.  My body has changed so much in just a few months.  Last week, I had gained a pound and then a few days later, lost two.  I stressed out a lot over this and after talking with a friend, I decided to abstain from weighing myself until April.  I'm worried that I'll weigh myself April first and I will be down even more and then I will super freak out.  The reasoning behind not weighing myself is that numbers are arbitrary, I like doing yoga and don't want to stop, and that I am eating and feel pretty healthy.  I've been crazy hungry since starting morning classes again, but also super tired.  It's like I can't get enough food in me.  I'll eat something, feel full, and then feel hungry again an hour later and need to find something else to eat.  I'm hoping this is a sign that my body is saying it needs more fuel and it will use that fuel to stay healthy and not lose anymore fat weight.  If April first comes and I've lost more weight, I'm not exactly sure what I'll decide.  For now, I'm trying to find a few pairs of pants in my drawer that don't fall off me.

Day 67

I did it!  I woke up and got out of bed and ate breakfast and went to yoga.  I've had pretty rough sleep for the past few nights and I felt like I barely slept at all last night.  I did not want to drag myself out of bed, but I knew that I'd be disappointed with myself if I made that choice.  Class was good, despite needing to sit out of certain poses because of my right knee.  I felt good about the poses I could do and about listening to the needs of my body and backing off.  I had a funny conversation about smells after class.  Sometimes all I could smell was sweat and human smells from everyone around me and the carpet.  I've also smelled grape bubblegum, elmer's glue, fava bean flour, garlic (it was on my hands), soap from my skin, and my own boy odor.  I am so exhausted right now, but it's time for me to get ready for work.  I'm hoping I'll pass out early tonight after a good dinner and feel rested in the morning, when I get up to do this all over again!

Day 66

I didn't make it to morning class today because I stayed up way too late.  I guess right after a time change is not the best time to adjust my schedule...  The goal is to be tucked into bed by 11.  I'll get up at 7:30 so that I can eat a light breakfast and drink some water.  As for class today, it was okay.  My shoulder and neck muscles are still aching but at least I didn't have vertigo again.  What I did have was pain in my right knee that started this morning.  It hurts going up and down stairs, riding my bike, and doing certain yoga poses.  I gave 100% until I felt pain and then backed off.  If it hurt the first time trying the pose, then I didn't do it the second time on that side.  I avoided Triangle Pose completely because I had a feeling it would hurt.

Day 64 and Day 65

Day 64

Class on Sunday was pretty good.  I felt like I worked as hard as I could and made some changes.  I've been working on making corrections in certain poses and I feel like I'm making progress.  Most days!  It's interesting how much clearer my mind works and how much more focus I have during class now compared to before the challenge.  There are days that my mind wanders to what I need to buy, what's for dinner, the changes going on in my life, but in general, I'm a lot calmer in and out of class.  I used to feel like I was missing half the instructions and focusing on hearing them and getting my body to comply took a lot of energy.  Now, I notice when the teachers mess up lefts and rights and the differences between the teachers styles and wording.  Also, my body just reacts to the instructions with less translation from me.  The down side of this concentration is that I have been finding that I'm doing things just a second before their actually said because I know what's coming next.  That makes me think I'm not quite as focused on each moment as I am what I know the next moment will be.  Time to slow down and wait for the instruction.  I've been working on backing off in Half Moon Pose and getting my hips and shoulders in line before going deeper.  It seems to have paid off because it looks and feels a lot better to me.  I've also been trying to start Full Locust Pose differently.  I've been putting my arms straight out in front of my before arching up in an attempt to get my chest to open up more.  Both of these changes have caused my rhomboids to burn, so I must be doing something right!

Day 65

I was not expecting to be as miserable during class as I ended up being.  I figured that if anything, I'd have to go easy on a few poses because every muscle attached to my scapula have something to complain about.  They were barely noticeable.  I had a headache earlier in the day and took some medicine and drank some water.  It felt a bit better but as soon as I sat up for the beginning of class I got knocked over by a wave of dizziness.  It wasn't like my usual dizzy spells in class.  Those are like I'm blacking out.  It clears up when I squat down for a second.  This was straight up vertigo.  I felt completely off balance and my eyes couldn't focus.  I sat out the most sets I ever have had to before.  I'd try to do a pose and then fall over from complete lack of balance.  Sitting up and keeping my eyes open was hard enough!  I think this was a combination of dehydration and needing to see my Chiropractor.  By the end of class the headache was a lot worse than before.  It felt like there was a really tight band all the way around my head as well as pain at the base of my skull and down my neck.  The vertigo was better before I got on my bike for the ride home.  After eating, drinking water and getting a quick shoulder rub from a roommate, I felt a lot better.  I didn't get down on myself for this class because I knew why I had to sit out.  I did have to run to the bathroom after the first set of Tree Pose because I brought my heel up right into my bladder!  The goal today is to get more water in me so I don't have a repeat of yesterday.

Day 63

I contemplated not going today. I figured a break might be good after how horrible yesterday was. But, I knew not going would be worse and that I'd regret it later. In the past, the class after a bad one was never nearly as bad as I'd feared. So I went with renewed vigour. It was challenging but mostly because I pushed myself. I felt the need to make up for yesterday. I didn't do every set, but put 100% effort into the ones I did. I had to sit down a few times when my blood pressure went funky. I felt better after. Now for some chores and then to work.

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Day 62

I started feeling tired and slightly feverish about an hour before class. I was okay until we started. Then, I started resisting. During Pranayama Breathing, I started feeling like I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be anywhere else but that room. I haven't had this kind of reaction in a while and I don't remember feeling this angry about it before. I stayed. Before the first set of Half Moon Pose was done I was holding back tears. I just wanted to crumple into a ball on the floor. There wasn't any particular reason for this. Life has been difficult, emotionally tumultuous, and full of change, but I usually know what is making me upset in the moment. What is triggering an overflowing of emotion. I attempted to concentrate and told myself that all I had to do was stay in the room and not run out. I let myself skip a lot of sets but tried to do at least one of each pose. I noticed that the pelvis opening poses were causing me to tear up more than others. I had to work harder to keep myself together during and after anything that stretched my gluts or opened my pelvis. That's a good number of poses... Every sit up took a lot of strength of will. I had to force myself to keep moving. I knew that if I just stayed in Savasana I'd lose what little control I had over my tear ducts. It felt like I was just oozing negative energy and I felt bad for the people around me. The class dragged on and I dragged myself through it. I only attempted Camel Pose once and held back a lot. I knew that if I went into it as deep as I usually do I'd turn into a blubbering mess for sure. I wasn't chatty after class. I showered, acted polite and kind and left. On my way out, the teacher told me "nice class!" I said that it wasn't and that I just managed to stay in the room. He said, kindly, "just say thank you." I said "thank you, but that's a crock of shit." I went to Jewel and bought some food stuffs including 2 containers of ice cream. I also got decongestant to help me sleep tonight. Tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow has to be better.

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Day 61

Today's class was not nearly as rough as yesterdays. I've been pretty congested today and that gave me some trouble breathing, but no fever! I wasn't in the best mood today between not feeling well, playing catch-up at work, adjusting to changes in my life, and my third flat tire in 2 months... then a yoga buddy invited me to come hang out between work and yoga. That put me in much better spirits. Green eggs and ham, laughing, and terd dates can have that affect. I'm still pretty sore from those two days I did doubles, but I pushed myself pretty hard. There were a couple sets I didn't do, but I didn't sit down and I didn't skip any poses completely. There's a fine line between listening to your body and slacking off. I'm trying to find it and stay on the right side.

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Day 60!!!

Yay, I made it! For real this time... Class was seriously rough. I'm sore from doing five classes in three days and trying to fight this sick at th same time. I definitely had a low fever during class. My stamina and motivation were shot. I did only one set of mose poses. I sneezed during Spinal Twist, which would have been bad if I hadn't felt it coming and untwisted! I stayed in the room and made it through the class. That's what matters. When I got home I was super hungry. In two hours I ate my leftover Korean food with rice (dak bulgogi), half a bag of popcorn, and a big bowl of ice cream. I was stuffed! I'm hoping I can keep this appetite thing going because the scale said 96.4 today!

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Day 59 - Part 2

I didn't have nearly as much energy for the second class. I did what I could and focused on myself. I didn't get an energy burst when I got home, like I did on sunday. I pretty much ate and sat around then went to bed. The whole point of doing a double was to get fully caught up. I feel better about my challenge now that I'm not behind. Now I just need to stay on top of it and not get behind, or lose count, again!

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Day 59- Part 1

I feel like I've been here before... this first class was not as awesome as sunday's first class but not nearly as crappy as last night's class. I feel tired and sore but my brain isn't really foggy. I let myself sit out some sets but worked really hard at every set I did. I felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head in the second Camel Pose. And. It. Felt. Great.

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Day 58

Rewind!  I totally miscounted my days when I lost count a week or so ago.  I counted them on my BYA account and on a calendar and somehow did it wrong.  Two whole days off!  Will anyone ever forgive me for misleading the, into giving me applause and encouragement two whole days early!?!?

Anyway, class today was a real challenge.  I didn't go to morning class like I thought I would because I needed sleep after yesterday's double.  I woke up every few hours and I feel like I wrote about this already...  So two of my roommates are sick and so are both the kids and the dad of the family I work for.  I have not been truly sick since I started doing Bikram Yoga in November.  I've fought off two colds.  I had a crappy class both times I was about to get sick and then I was fine.  I'm hoping that tonight was my crappy class and now I won't get sick.  When I was locking my bike up outside, I felt like I might have a low grade fever.  I didn't have a way to check, so I don't know for sure.  I felt wiped out for the whole class; weak and fatigued and just not myself.  I'm feeling alright now, just a little worn out.  But that could be because it's midnight and I need to be awake at 7:30 to go to morning yoga.

Day 59- Part Two

I ended up changing into clean shorts and bra for the second class, after having sat there freezing for 30 minutes.  Now I'll know just to do it right away and to bring long pants and a shirt to put on over during the break.  I did use the same towel which was only a little uncomfortable.  I will probably bring a clean towel next time I do a back to back double.  I pushed myself just as hard in the second class.  My muscles were fatigued and I let myself skip a couple second sets of poses.  I did not let myself sit down, though.  I had to squat a couple times when I started to get really dizzy.  I felt pretty blah right after class but started to perk up as we walked to dinner.  We had Korean food, it was just what I wanted.  I got some unpacking done when I got home and then the real tired hit me.  Sleep wasn't that great.  I was sore and achey and woke up every few hours.  I didn't go to morning class today because I needed all the sleep I could get.  I'm off to class now, and will probably do a double tomorrow.

Day 59- part 1

I pushed myself pretty hard during class and concentrated something furious. I feel very aware of my body, especially the fact that all the sweat is drying off my sking & clothes making me very cold. I didn't want to give myself any breaks during the first class. I wanted to give it my all so that in class 2 I can sit if I really need to. I had some dizzyness and squatted down for a second each time until my head cleared. The reason for doing a double is 2 fold. First, my friend wanted to do a double and second, I want to be at an even 60 classes in 60 days tomorrow. In order to do that, I'll have to do a double tomorrow, too. I plan to go before work and after. The other reason for doing the double tomorow is because my roommate is going to take her first class tomorrow. Yay, I'm converting more people! Pee then back in the room for round 2.

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Days 55-58 (Wednesday-Saturday)

I kept meaning to write after class, I swear!  Now they are all blurred together and I can't remember enough distinct comments, so I guess I'll for general instead.  I haven't been drinking water in class, which I feel good about.  I've had some really focused classes and some that felt like I was just biding my time until the end of class.  I've been getting neck pain, headaches, and low back pain.  The low back pain is getting less constant and I've been able to get deeper back bends in the last few days.  I bought myself a Gaiam towel last week when I stopped at Target after the doctor.  I don't sweat that much to need a super absorbent towel, but I like that it fits my mat and it doesn't slide around as much as my beach towel.  I also got my replacement thriv shorts in the mail, and am very pleased!  The story is that I bought two pairs from Sports Authority and one started the come undone at the seem after only a couple weeks.  I couldn't find my receipt so I didn't try to take them back.  Instead, I emailed thriv directly and they told me to send them back and they'd send me a new pair.  I took forever sending them back because I couldn't find the padded envelope that I knew I had, there was that blizzard, and then I had to move.  I finally got it sent right before I moved and the new pair arrived promptly.  As someone who has practically grown up in customer service, I was very impressed with their response.  They didn't hassle me or make me feel bad.  They offered a perfect solution and followed through with it in a timely fashion, even though I wasn't so quick on my end.  The best part of it is that I love their product!  The fabric is super soft and is made of cotton and bamboo.  It's absorbent and clings to my body without chafing my skin or restricting my movement.  It does lose a little of it's softness over time.  That could also be because I use soap nuts for my detergent and hang the shorts to dry.  (This typically makes clothes a little stiffer until they are worn but it's safe for all types of fabric, cheap, and safe for the environment.)  I wish they came in more colors; I'd buy every color if they did!  ... back to yoga...  I've still been struggling to get through all the sets of Awkward and Eagle Poses because my quads start to burn and I have to fall out.  A few days ago I fell out of Eagle Pose and landed on my right knee on the carpet.  It made me laugh even though my skin burned for a bit.  I'm glad it was carpet and not wood floors.  I'm not sure what to do about that but I'm pushing through the best I can.  I have been feeling good about Standing Separate Leg Stretching Pose.  I can feel my hamstrings, gluts, and lateral rotators stretching and opening up.  I had some positive feedback from teachers about this pose recently, which encourages me to go deeper.  The point is to straighten your spine completely, but since I can't see myself in this pose, it's all by feel.  I've been enjoying Camel Pose a little more again, even though it still hurts a bit.  I've started to occasionally kick out in Standing Head to Knee Pose again.  I had stopped because my wrist acted up during it one time a few weeks ago.  I play it by ear each time and don't push myself if my wrist starts to twinge.  I think that's good enough for now, time to get ready for a double today!

* Neither of these companies have encouraged me in any way to write about them.

Day 54

Yesterday was a rough day. I knew I had to go to yoga even though I wasn't really in the mood. I was determined to focus on each posture despite everything else going on in my life. I allowed myself to sit out when my quads were burning, but otherwise, I pushed myself as hard as I could. I felt a bit better after class, but it didn't last long because life happened again. It was a big class and it felt good to be surrounded by so many focused people. I was going to go to the 9:30 class this morning but I stayed up until 3am working on unpacking books. So yeh, I knew I wasn't going to get up for that! But because I made that choice I can't do what I was going to after work. Ah, choices!

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