Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Happy Medium

For about a month after my challenge ended (I got to 107 classes in 107 days) I struggled to go to class.  I struggled with myself in class.  I often did not want to go, whether it was because of physical complaints, my work schedule, or energy level, and when I make myself, I did not want to be there.

I think I am finding my Happy Medium.  I do not make myself go to class if I do not want to but I aim for at least two days in a row and allow myself one day off.  I mark and X or a star on my wall calendar to keep track of my classes.  I am not hard on myself when I do not make it to class which makes it easier to be there on the days I do go.

My practice has changed quite a lot and my body is readjusting to getting back on track.  The season changes were surprisingly difficult for my body to adjust to.  I've been having an exceptional amount of migraines and my wrist is not enjoying the pressure changes either.

My knee started hurting again, and a lot more intensely than before, a week ago.  My chiropractor adjusted it as well as my back and thinks it is mostly caused by kneeling a lot.  I have always kneeled down onto my right knee, since back in my bookstore days, wearing a hole in the knee of my pants.  I kneel at work when cleaning up after, playing with, and bathing the babies.  I kneel in yoga.  I usually push with my right leg first on my bike pedal when starting off.  I'm trying to be more conscious with how I use my body, and my right leg in particular.

I'm working on changing my attitude about a lot of things including how I act when I walk into BYA.  I think it's important to let the teachers know what is going on with my body but it's also important to have an open and positive outlook on the class I am about to take.  After venting about work to my buddies in the locker room one night, I realized my attitude could be affecting my classmates and their practice as well as my own.  When someone asks me how I am, I always answer honestly, but now I am working on staying a little more upbeat.

Another thing I am working on, though it's not yoga related, is asking people questions.  I spew a ton about myself and then expect others to say anything they care to share.  I don't like pushing, but I also don't like the idea of people perceiving me as self-centered or uncaring, because I'm not.  I just figure that people will tell me what they want to just because I do.  This wasn't a conscious thing I was doing and now I am working to be aware of it and change how I act.  I want people to know that I really do care what they have to say, I care how they are doing and what is going on in their lives.  I'm not going to stop sharing so much of myself, but I am going to try to ask more questions from those around me.

Classes are finally starting to feel like they don't drag on and on, like they were for that month after my challenge.  I am trying to listen to my body and my heart to determine whether I need to go to class each day.  I am finding that fine line between my practice being stress inducing and stress relieving.  I also need to make sure that I maintain my weight.  I've been stable between 98 and 101.  I do not allow myself to stress over the numbers on the scale, but I do monitor it every week or so to make sure I am staying stable.

I don't know how often I will write in  here, but I obviously had a lot to say tonight!  I know people read this, and I still would really love comments, questions and feedback.

Thanks for reading!

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