Day 127

Well, it would be if I weren't seven (I think) days behind. I'm okay with being off my count but I'd like to get to the bottom of why I've been resisting class. I did end up going to class today because dinner was canceled. It felt good to be there even though it was hard on my body. My back and neck do not like it when I miss classes and my wrist is still hurting a lot in class. But I went, put in a lot of effort and had fun. During Eagle Pose, I lifted my left leg up so forcefully that it spun me around. This made me laugh. I had to sit out a few poses but I made sure to do at least one of every set. When I tried Full Locust Pose I felt nervous about bumping my wrist on the person next to me. I only feel this way when it already hurts. I feel pretty wiped out but that also has to do with work today. I'm planning on making it to class tomorrow but I'm not going to force myself if I feel resistent.

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Way Over Due

I've been having a hard time being consistent with classes since finishing my challenge. There are a myriad of reasons, or um, excuses, for this. I haven't been going to bed early enough to get up for the 9:30 class. I need my sleep and I don't function, especially in yoga, if I haven't had enough. I've had to work late a lot with my boss being out of town making it impossible to go to evening classes. I had to take a few days off for my hip. I was getting some serious sciatica after doing a double and the only thing for it was to rest. No matter how easy I took it in class, I'd be in excruciating pain after. Then there was the concussion and busted lip that I probably should have gone to the ER for. That was due to a bumping heads with a friend's dog. A friend's 15 pound schnauzer... That caused me to need even more sleep and to get dizzy in class. I also was emotionally off for a week or so, getting anxious, irritable and crying for no reason. I've had days I just didn't want to go to class, and didn't make myself because there were other things I'd rather do, like today. There have been days I've gotten to BYA and didn't want to be there, or got into class and just didn't want to be there. I'm fighting it. I'm fighting doing what I know is good for me and I'm paying for it. My wrist is still recovering from my FCE (a rigorous 4 hour test to determine my ability to do different work related tasks) and riding my bike, since moving my seat up to make my knee feel better, only agrivates it more. Two days ago I had the worst wrist pain I've ever had in class and I used that as my excuse not to go. But, I did use my free time to start looking at recumbent bikes, that will be much better for my wrist and allow me to enjoy riding again. So, I'm not going to class today, and tomorrow I have to work and then have dinner plans. I need to find my determination and motivation again. It's somewhere inside me.

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